Picking Up Asian Women – Korea vs. Japan Edition (Ft. Social Sinapse)

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Podcast

This last week I got an email from my good friend Sinapse over at Attraction Japan asking to do a podcast together and talk about the similarities and differences between pickup in Japan and Korea.

Read More: Attracting and Picking up Women in Japan

We sat down together and talked for a little more than an hour about all sorts of things from meeting women on the street to our daily lives and how important the language barrier is in each country.

Some other topics we touched on include:

-Our expectations vs. the reality of picking up girls in Japan and Korea

-Our own beginnings with game, what brought us to it, and how we began learning it

-What our bread and butter game is like

-What mistakes guys often make when they first arrive in East Asia

We had a great time talking about all this stuff, and I think there’s a lot of stuff in there for readers from Korea, Japan, or anywhere in the world.  One universal truth about game is that game is universal everywhere – just with different styles and variations.

You can listen to the podcast below on the page or find the soundcloud here.

What do you guys think?  Would you like to hear more podcasts?  If so, what kind of topics would you like to hear covered?  Let me know in the comments below!

Til next time players!

-JN

The Weirdest First Date

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Today I’m going to try something new on request from several readers.  Instead of just giving advice or explaining situations, I’m telling an actual story of something that happened during my time dating around here in Korea.  If I get favorable response from these, I’ll continue telling my other stories as well.  Some will be of success, some will be of failure, and some will just be of the notably weird, but all will be true and show a part of the dating life as a foreigner in Korea.

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Anyone who dates around a lot is bound to have some pretty weird first date stories, and I am no stranger to bad first dates.  This particular girl however even surprised me with how incredibly weird and awkward she made our first date.

This story happened back in May, when I was not drinking for a month as an experiment to see if I could still get laid completely sober.  I had hooked up with an airline stewardess who lived nearby on a Tuesday night and the next morning we took my dog, Simba, out for a walk and she was heading home.  A few minutes after parting ways with the stewardess, I saw a cute girl also walking a dog.

Simba, being much like me, ran up to the other one and started trying to hump it immediately.  The girl and I both laughed and started talking.  After about a 15 minute chat, she asked for my number (a huge signal of interest) and we parted ways, agreeing to meet up on Friday for a date.

She immediately began messaging me regularly with great enthusiasm, always a good sign.  We banter back and forth for a couple of days and she seems genuinely excited about the date.

Now before I get to the date, let me tell you a little about the girl.  She’s 22, very cute but not sexy, exactly the style I normally go for.  Probably a 6-8 on most guys’ scales, depending on how much you like the cute factor.  She speaks minimal to no English, so we’re communicating entirely in Korean.  Because of these factors, I can immediately rule her out as being a Foreigner Lover.  She tells me that she doesn’t drink at all, so she’s not a Party Animal or an Alcoholic, and she just recently broke up with her first and only boyfriend so she’s likely not a Slut.  I narrow down that she’s probably a mix between a Prude and a Friend. Continue reading

Can I Have Your InstaFaceTweetPlus?

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Instragram SucksI got an interesting email from a reader earlier this week.  He asked about a specific situation that I’ve noticed happening recently, but at the same time, it seems to have always happened in one form or another.

The reader writes:

“I just broke up with my ex last week and this was the first time that I approached women in Seoul.  I was at an outdoor concert with some coworkers and saw a cute girl sitting not far from us. There were 3 girls and one guy (coworker with one and not dating any of them) in the group. I ended up chatting with them for about 10-15 minutes. Everything seemed to be going well, and as I was finishing the conversation, I mentioned that I didn’t know very many people in Seoul and it would be great to hang out with them. To be honest I don’t remember exactly what they said or what I said, but the girl closest to me asked me if I was on Instagram. I said that I wasn’t but that I do have Kakao and offered to exchange IDs. At that point, the guy said that I should start using Instagram so that I could “meet fancy ladies.” That created a rather awkward moment, and at that point, I asked the girl again about Kakao. There wasn’t much of a response and I didn’t want to linger, so I politely excused myself and went back to my friends empty-handed. To be honest, I thought asking for my Instagram was a bit of a polite way to say Fuck off, so I didn’t try too hard after that.

All of my friends that I was with are foreigners most of whom are either married to other foreigners or just moved here a few weeks ago as well. When I went back and told my friends, one said that asking for my Instagram was a good thing and meant she was interested. This was very confusing for me.  So the question is, should her asking about Instagram be perceived as a good signal or a polite way to reject? Is not having, nor wanting to have an Instagram account, possibly going to be problematic in the future?”

Okay players, let’s unpack this! Continue reading

How to Spot and Avoid Flakes

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How to avoid flakesSo you finally stepped up to the plate.

You stopped that beautiful girl on the train and got her number using The Seoul Player’s patented number grabbing technique.

Now you’re following the plan to text her and set up a date.

Everything is all ready, you get dressed and start heading to meet her for drinks at the local pub near your home so your logistics are tight.

All the sudden your phone buzzes.  You look down and see that it’s her.  You get a sinking feeling in your gut because you know what’s coming next.

“Hey, I’m sorry but…” Continue reading

The Player’s Experiment

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no beer for youAfter nearly a decade in Korea dealing with the women here, I like to foolishly think that I know enough about them to answer almost any question regarding game.  This illusion was quickly shattered a couple of months ago when a reader asked me a question that truly stumped me.  The embarrassing thing was that it wasn’t a question of specific techniques or venues, not even a silly NAWALT exception that would need to be explained.  It was much simpler than that, and it was a question that any reasonable person with as much experience as me should be able to answer.

It was a question that hit directly at a huge personal fault of mine and made me realize how limited my experiences have been because of it.

The Question

“I don’t drink alcohol so how can I game women and get laid without drinking?” Continue reading

Never Back Down – Always Play to Win

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Don+t+back+down_9616b8_4964221Since the articles I write on here tend to generate quite a bit of hate and self-righteous indignation from the angry folks who stumble across them, I wasn’t surprised when my article about staying in Korea got some angry responses.  What really surprised me was the source of the hate – it came almost exclusively from my family.

A few hours after posting it, I got a message from my father saying that I should think about taking down the article because it might ‘hurt some feelings’ among people back home.  I laughed at him and explained that doing so would actually be antithetical to the whole premise of the article.  Going your own way and living life on your own terms was the whole point, and capitulating to such silliness would be the most hypocritical act possible. Continue reading

How to Avoid the Friend Zone

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Friend Zone MarioOne of the worst possible fates for a man is to wind up in the dreaded friend zone.  Everyone knows what that means – a girl wants to ‘hang out’ with you but doesn’t want anything more than that.  She wants you to buy her dinner and drinks while she vents about problems with her family, friends, and the guy who is actually getting to fuck her.

That guy is not you.

Essentially she is using you as an emotional tampon.  And being stuck in the friend zone really is as gross as that sounds.

This terrible tragedy befalls many would-be players every year, and unfortunately it is a reality that everybody has to deal with at one time or another.

I myself recently had a brush with The F-Zone.  It was an especially dangerous run in because in this case the girl was particularly hot.  Every man knows that the hotter a girl is, the harder it is to say no to her.

hot crazy matrix

She was dangerously high on the matrix.

Allow me to explain how I managed to avoid the friend zone with this cutie. Continue reading

Two Steps to Improve Your Game Today

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Improve your game!Everyone is different when it comes to game and dealing with women.  We all have different styles, different desires, different patterns and places where we perform best.

I hate clubs so as a result my club game is terrible.  The few times I get dragged to one for a friend’s birthday or some other occasion, I always strike out horribly.  It’s just not my style nor do I have any desire to improve my club game.

Your style is different from my style, I can guarantee that.  The guys I’ve met from the site have been amazed by the specific style that I have, and it’s entirely inimitable.  That doesn’t mean that it’s better or worse than any other style, only that it’s my own.

I am also at a different place in my personal and game development than you.  We all grow and change differently and consequently want different things at different times.

These simple truths make it incredibly difficult to offer advice that will apply to all men and help everyone equally.  I believe I’ve stumbled upon a solution to that issue. Continue reading

How Long Should I Stay in Korea?

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SinatraMyWayWhen I first moved to Korea back in late October of 2009, I was 23 years old.  I was coming for a year to experience something new and different before I moved home to begin my ‘real life.’

One month into my time here, I hated it.  Let’s be honest, winter in Korea blows.  It’s the absolute worst, and it really didn’t help that I was living in a small city in the middle of nowhere.  I couldn’t wait to get back home.

Then about halfway through my first year, I hit a super high point – summer.  Summer time in Korea is, without a doubt, the best times you’ll have here.  Now all of a sudden I was glad I lived in the center of Korea because I could go to Seoul or Busan without much trouble either way.  A weekend trip to the beach?  Perfect!  A Saturday rooftop party in Hongdae?  Why not?

By the end of my first year, I knew that I didn’t want to go back home… but I still had a nagging feeling that I was somehow putting off my ‘real life,’ simply delaying the inevitable and that every year I spent here would ultimately be a year wasted.

Now I’m still here, almost seven years later, and I have no regrets. Continue reading

The Two Best Ways to Approach Women

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approachWhen it comes to going out to meet new women, there are two general schools of thought among successful players – the Shotgun approach and the Sniper approach.

Just like the names imply, Shotgun game is more of a scattershot approach where you just cast a wide net and see who is receptive whereas Sniper game is a much more targeted approach where you look for exactly the type of girl who will be interested in taking things further with you.

Both methods have distinct advantages and benefits over the other, and they also have a lot to do with a player’s particular style. The consummate player though needs to be able to use either approach for meeting women and know exactly when, where, and how to apply them well. Continue reading