I got an interesting email from a reader earlier this week. He asked about a specific situation that I’ve noticed happening recently, but at the same time, it seems to have always happened in one form or another.
The reader writes:
“I just broke up with my ex last week and this was the first time that I approached women in Seoul. I was at an outdoor concert with some coworkers and saw a cute girl sitting not far from us. There were 3 girls and one guy (coworker with one and not dating any of them) in the group. I ended up chatting with them for about 10-15 minutes. Everything seemed to be going well, and as I was finishing the conversation, I mentioned that I didn’t know very many people in Seoul and it would be great to hang out with them. To be honest I don’t remember exactly what they said or what I said, but the girl closest to me asked me if I was on Instagram. I said that I wasn’t but that I do have Kakao and offered to exchange IDs. At that point, the guy said that I should start using Instagram so that I could “meet fancy ladies.” That created a rather awkward moment, and at that point, I asked the girl again about Kakao. There wasn’t much of a response and I didn’t want to linger, so I politely excused myself and went back to my friends empty-handed. To be honest, I thought asking for my Instagram was a bit of a polite way to say Fuck off, so I didn’t try too hard after that.
All of my friends that I was with are foreigners most of whom are either married to other foreigners or just moved here a few weeks ago as well. When I went back and told my friends, one said that asking for my Instagram was a good thing and meant she was interested. This was very confusing for me. So the question is, should her asking about Instagram be perceived as a good signal or a polite way to reject? Is not having, nor wanting to have an Instagram account, possibly going to be problematic in the future?”
Okay players, let’s unpack this! Continue reading