LOOKS: Varies wildly
ONS: 50% – 100%
LTR: Low – Medium desirability
Who is the Crazed Lover?
The Crazed Lover is one of the hardest types of Korean girls to spot if you don’t have the right level of experience with the women here. There is a phrase in Korean that is often bandied about, that someone can “love you too much.” That is where the Crazed Lover finds her inception.
DISCLAIMER: All women are somewhat crazy. That does not mean that they are Crazed Lovers. Look for specific behavior that seems especially dangerous or unstable in order to identify and deal with these types. For reference, check your girl’s rating on the famous Hot-Crazy Matrix (not mine). If she is completely off the chart one way or the other, there’s a good chance you’re dealing with a Crazed Lover. In the beginning, she will seem not crazy enough, and in later stages she will be off the chart too crazy. Never forget that it always balances out somewhere.
You may meet this girl, know this girl well, perhaps even date her casually without actually realizing that she is a Crazed Lover type. They are experts in camouflage and will often appear to be another type altogether. The most common types that the Crazed Lover mixes with are the Shy Girl and the Alcoholic. Of course, alcohol can seem to play a big role in the actions of a Crazed Lover and even be used as an excuse after a particularly big blowup, but the underlying issue is far worse than simple substance abuse.
The Crazed Lover has severe attachment and self-esteem issues at her core, which are going to ultimately lead to very capricious and erratic behavior. This can seem excellent at first, especially to the uninitiated, because the main target of her extreme emotions are toward you. This type of girl tends to fall in love fast and hard. You may even think that she’s a Husband Hunter because of the ball-flattening speed at which your relationship moves into serious territory.
This type of girl might do things like show up at your apartment with a bag of groceries to cook for you or bring over some special oil she found online to give you a massage. These seem wonderful and you will likely be ecstatic that you found a girl so attentive and loving. It’s likely that because of your joy in her behavior, you will miss the red flags that accompany them. Sure, she’s coming over to cook and have dinner ready when you get off work… but she’s also coming into your apartment while you’re not there. Massages are lovely, especially when unsolicited, but that also means that she’s showing up without advance notice and warning.
When you’re looking at something through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.
The danger with these situations is that they are too good for most men to put the brakes on. Who would tell his girlfriend not to come cook for him or bring him snacks while he’s studying / working at home? Of course, most would not. That is dangerous because this is exactly the time to start questioning what is really going on. After all, there’s no such thing as a free lunch, so if she’s cooking it… What are you paying?
This stage early in the relationship is when she’s digging in and entrenching her position in your life. She will attempt to build herself into every facet of your life. Your friends become her friends. Your home becomes as comfortable to her as her own. Weekends soon aren’t your time; they are time for you two to do things together. Taking trips, going on adventures, and forming a bond over shared memories are a key component to the Crazed Lover’s strategy early on in a relationship. Of course, these things are generally good, as they are the foundation for most relationships, but the Crazed Lover takes it a bit further than others. Perhaps she prints and frames pictures of your trips and hangs them up around your apartment. Maybe she will have you wear couples’ t-shirts that she bought you on a special weekend.
All of it comes down to marking her territory, both to onlookers and to you. She wants to make sure you know that she is the most important thing to you and make it as difficult to leave the relationship as possible.
This behavior gets to the actual root of the Crazed Lover’s personality type. She doesn’t want to feel wanted, she needs to feel wanted. In my estimation, it is a lack of personal self-esteem that causes this trait to manifest itself. She has attachment issues from her past – perhaps a bad LTR breakup or family problems – that lead to her needing attention and reassurance. The easiest way for her to ensure stability in her relationship with you is to go above and beyond in doing things for you. In return, all she asks is your undivided attention at all times.
Some telltale signs of this personality type are questions like, “How much do you love me?” or “Would you stay with me if I were fat/ugly/______?” These are cries for reassurance that she can feel secure in her relationship with you never ending – at least not on your terms.
While the first few months with a Crazed Lover will likely be a lot of fun (and yes, the sex is amazing), the real danger with them comes once you realize that you’re in too deep and try to back off from or end the relationship. This is when the Crazed side of the Crazed Lover comes out.
In a situation where you are attempting to end or even cool off a relationship, her insecurities will go into overdrive. She will cry, scream, plead, bawl, and all manner of highly unattractive behavior. There is also a good chance she will become violent, breaking things, and possibly even attack you physically. If you are realizing that she is a Crazed Lover at this point, it is too late to save yourself the pain to come. Your best option is simply to disengage entirely and find a safe place where she cannot follow. Ghosting entirely after telling her that it’s over is highly recommended. Do not make the mistake I did and break up with her in your home, a public place or over the phone is much safer and smoother.
However, in an ideal situation, you can have a great deal of fun with a Crazed Lover for a short amount of time then move on mostly amicably before the attachment grows too deep. There is also a case to be made for a long-term relationship with this type of girl, as her doting on you and granting you anything you wish will not wane with time. As long as you are willing to provide the attention and love that she so deeply desires, she will happily give all of herself to you. You must be aware though that the longer the relationship continues, the harder and more dangerous it becomes to leave.
Keys to sealing the deal
As Sons of Anarchy taught us: Only men need to be loved. Women need to be wanted. It is this impetus that drives the Crazed Lover. If you meet one and can identify her, understand that there is no such thing as too much attention for her. She wants it all and will greedily take it all while asking for more.
In the earliest stages of seduction, playing a coquettish game of hot and cold with her will drive her absolutely wild. Spend some time focusing on her intently – make lots of eye contact, ask her personal questions, delve deeply into what she wants to talk about, and find ways to make connections to things that you have in common. This will deepen her attraction to you immensely, possibly even to the point of hearing her say something about love at first sight or soulmates.
Then cool off your affections for her a lot. Step away to get a drink and get distracted by another conversation. Take a phone call and spend more time than necessary away. Suddenly seem uninterested in the conversation or her answers. This will engage her approval seeking mechanism, causing her to up the level of attention she pays to you and driving up her interest in you exponentially. If this is a first meeting, like out at a bar, then this would be a good point to bring sex into the equation. Casually mention that you think she’s okay, but that you’re definitely not going to sleep with her tonight. This is a game that women often play with men, and she will immediately recognize it. Turning it around on her will drive her crazy.
Keep the hot and cold going as long as you want to or until it seems like the dam may break – you don’t want her to actually go crazy on you the first night you meet. At the point you deem appropriate, you can relent and ‘allow’ her to seduce you.
Note: If you’re new to seduction or inexperienced, push it a bit longer than you think is right. If you already know what you’re doing, then you will know the right time.
Where to find her
The Crazed Lover is everywhere in society, and is not exclusive to Korean women. They are in bars and clubs of course, but also in supermarkets, on the street, at your church – everywhere. You will be able to distinguish them from others because of obvious attention-seeking behavior.
This type often dresses in a particularly showy way in order to attract attention. This will be different than the provocative way a Slut will dress, but much to the same effective result. They also are more likely to have their hair dyed a strange color like blue or pink, a slightly stranger hair style than what is common, or other aspects of their outward appearance that draw attention to themselves such as uncommon piercings.
Be aware that sometimes the girls who present outwardly like this simply want a basic level of attention and will reject any approaches for fun. These are most often SJW or ultra-feminist types. In order to minimize your exposure to their cancerous personalities, look beyond the obvious. If the girl seems deeply unhappy and is wearing a scowl, avoid her like the plague. If there’s an obvious muffin top in a tight shirt, hairy legs, or other signs of bodily disrepair, steer clear.
The Crazed Lover is not a miserable person generally, she is simply looking to fill a bottomless void. They are usually pretty happy and upbeat, ready to have a good time. You’re looking for a positive girl with joie de vivre that you would like to share. If you approach one who looks like this and she is receptive, you have found one who will rejoice and bask in your attention.
Pros and cons
Despite the overall negative tone in my overview of these girls, they are not all that bad. The warning must be made up front however, because I don’t want other men to fall into a dangerous trap like I have before. With that in mind, let’s look at the positive aspects of the Crazed Lover.
First, the Crazed Lover is a lot of fun to be with, especially at first. She is very caring and devoted and will spend all her time, energy, and money in an effort to make you feel happy and comfortable. She will do fun things with you and go on amazing adventures. She is generally very laid-back, as she wants to follow your lead and keep you satisfied with her.
She will gladly go out of her way to do things for you that most other women never will. Importantly, this is not because you are so demanding, but rather because she wants to do those things for you.
The sex with the Crazed Lover is also great. She will do all the things you want to without complaint and will (at least seem to) enjoy them all as well. For her, the real pleasure is that you are focused solely on her and your desire for her is growing ever stronger. Your attention is her drug of choice, and a particularly wild sex session or ten will keep her on a perpetual high.
The Crazed Lover has a level of love and loyalty only equaled by pets and family, unwavering in its steadfastness. The only exception to this is if you are disloyal, cheat on her, or even show interest in another woman. As long as she is the sole recipient of your female love and attention, you will be rewarded greatly with all she has to offer and then some.
Because the Crazed Lover is quite unpredictable, she is a lot of fun to be around if you enjoy up-down drama. This is not to be confused with being bipolar, manic-depressive, or any other actual mental illness, however. She will bring you good news and funny stories with the brightest of smiles and complain about her coworkers or family with a fury that may surprise you at first. She might even inject some drama into your relationship to keep things entertaining for her, as negative attention is still attention. This almost always leads to incredible bouts of makeup sex.
If you are one who enjoys the unexpected and hot/cold patches, being with the Crazed Lover is not the worst way to spend your time.
The cons to dating a Crazed Lover, however, are quite perilous.
Once she has woven herself into your life, it will be very difficult if not impossible to completely remove her without great damage to yourself and other relationships.
She was almost certainly the type experienced by the English playwright who observed that Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
The love and attention that the Crazed Lover bestows upon you during the good times of your relationship will be turned to the opposite pole and magnified. Her attention, both positive and negative, is trained uniquely on you. This attention becomes intensely negative when you try to extricate yourself from the folds of the relationship or if you are disloyal to her in any way. Because she has spent time building an ‘us’ rather than a ‘he and I’, everything that she sees and does will make her think of you. This will fuel her anger even further and cause untold pain and suffering.
For every good deed or kindness done to you, expect at least double that much in harm to come your way.
There is no point in listing the possible ramifications to poorly handling a relationship with a Crazed Lover because there is no end to the creativity and depravity this type will exhibit in order to ‘make you pay’ for leaving her. If you develop a long and deep relationship with this type, know that you are digging your own grave along the way should you ever cause her to turn on you.
If you do choose to date a Crazed Lover, know that you have a few months at most to decide how to proceed. By the end of the third month with a Crazed Lover, she will likely have inserted herself so deeply in your life that you will have a very difficult time of it. The two best ways to handle a Crazed Lover either to keep it casual and break it off after a brief period (no longer than 2 months) or to stick with her for a long term relationship. There is fun to be had in this second approach, but it is not advised for the inexperienced. The highs and lows will begin to yoyo higher and lower each time until it becomes unbearable unless you know how to keep her balanced. This is only possible after years of experience and with a very deep level of personal trust and understanding with the woman in question.