LTR: Medium to High desirability
Who is The Shy Girl?
The Shy Girl can be a fun girl to meet if you play your game right. While Shy Girls have a high correlation to prudishness, they aren’t necessarily true prudes. They are definitely shy in public, it doesn’t mean that they will be shy behind closed doors or that they aren’t interested in talking when you meet them.
Shy girls, like a lot of shy guys, want to have good conversations and positive experiences but often don’t know how to make them happen. This is part of your job as a player, helping her to get out of her shell a little bit and experience things in a different way than she could by herself.
One mistake that a lot of extroverts make (most players are extroverts whether naturally or by necessity) is that they assume if a Shy Girl is quiet that it means she isn’t having fun. This is a false assumption and often leads to an otherwise strong interaction being cut short unnecessarily. This makes your ramble routine especially important when dealing with a Shy Girl.
With most other types of girls, you can safely judge how well an interaction is going by how much she talks with you or by how many personal questions she asks you. Shy girls have different indicators. If she isn’t asking you questions or giving long-winded answers, don’t be discouraged. Instead you should look for more subtle indicators, such as eye contact, giggling, and blushing. If you figure out that she’s a Shy Girl and she’s asking you questions anyway, then your interaction is going exceedingly well.
Natural introverts find large social gatherings extremely tiring and draining. If you meet a Shy Girl in a public place with lots of people, your best bet is to do a very quick extraction to somewhere quieter and more private. This doesn’t necessarily mean to immediately try to take them home, though if you can pull it then go for it. A better idea would be to take them to a local park, a quiet lounge bar, or even just out onto the street from a venue.
Your decision on where to take them will be dependent on the time of day and place where you originally meet, along with the general vibe you get from the girl. When possible, involving alcohol will always increase your chances. If the bars aren’t open yet, drinking at the local convenience store is always an option and it is perfectly acceptable in Korean culture.
Another thing to be aware of with Shy Girls is that they may open up a lot more when you get them out of a social situation. This can manifest itself in many different ways. The first and most obvious is that she will be more willing to talk and open up in a quieter or calmer place, as I mentioned with the quick extraction. Something else you may notice is that Shy Girls have a ‘Lady in the street but a freak in the sheets’ mentality. At first she may even seem like a Prude if you don’t get her to open up initially, but then turn into a total sex fiend when you get her to the anonymity of a motel room.
Keys to Sealing the Deal
The biggest thing to remember when dealing with the Shy Girl is to keep her away from big crowds or places where she’ll feel stressed about the people around. This means that a calm lounge bar is a much better choice compared to a loud club or a boisterous bar. You also don’t want to have your buddies around, especially not at the beginning of your relationship with her. Keep things more personal, intimate, and aim to keep her feeling as socially comfortable as you can.
Some Shy Girls are strict natural introverts who absolutely hate large groups of people, but there are other who are comfortable in groups of people as long as they can stay with people who feel like a comfort zone for them. In this vein, a house party could work out well with those types of girls, as long as you mingle together and don’t leave her to fend for herself, but a noisy bar is still probably not a great place to take her.
These distinctions are important as things progress with the Shy Girl because you need to know what kinds of places and events you should (or should not) take her to. However, for the first few dates at least, it’s best to keep it in a more private setting.
It’s also important to understand that with this girl, you can’t rely on an event or locale to give you a safe topic or distraction, and you can’t really expect a lot of feedback from her in the conversation at the beginning. It’s very important that your ramble game is absolutely spot on with these girls. You’ll need to basically be your own little sitcom for her, and be able to laugh at your own jokes and stories to simulate the Big Bang Theory style laugh tracks that she’s probably accustomed to. This is true clown game the whole way through.
Be careful that your ramble doesn’t turn into a rant. If you start going off on tangents and getting worked up about things or if you’re talking too quickly about topics that don’t grab her interest, then you’re going to seem more like a crazy person than a good conversationalist. There’s a fine line being passionate about a topic and being a nutcase, so just stick with simpler topics that you can talk about reasonably well that also have broad appeal. Travel, movies, and music are always pretty safe and universally understandable.
The two most important factors of sealing the deal with the Shy Girl are interest and isolation. Your goal is for your ramble to be interesting enough that she is interested in learning more about you and going somewhere else with you. If you meet her at a night venue, this probably means taking a walk and continuing the chat. If you meet during the day time, it means an instadate at a coffee shop or waffle cafe.
No matter where you move to, the key is that you move somewhere together and without any friends or others around. The successful extraction is more than half of the battle with a Shy Girl. Once she’s interested enough to move with you, isolate her and begin escalating before making returning for a romantic romp. The more comfortable she feels with you, the more likely it is that she will open up and reward you with a walk on the wild side.
Where to Find Her
While it’s possible to occasionally spot one of these girls being a wallflower at a bar or club, you have a much greater chance of running into this type of girl at a bookstore, coffee shop, or even on the train.
Another good way to meet her is is at university study groups or low-key language exchange groups. Some language exchange groups are thinly veiled speed dating venues, which are fun in their own right, but you’ll mostly find Foreigner Lovers there, not Shy Girls. Go for the language exchanges that are actually meant for proper study instead. These usually have some form of sign up, possible text books or reference materials that they use, and definitely don’t charge cover at the door or serve booze there. As a general rule, if it’s being held at night and advertises drinks in the group information, it’s a meat market not meant for actual study. You’ll improve your Korean skills much more and also have the side benefit of being able to easily drop bait for the Shy Girls during regular group conversation.
Places that are reverent of silence and autonomy are ideal for meeting Shy Girls. If you live near a university, the library slightly after prime hours is a good spot. Public libraries aren’t bad, but a lot of people visit them just for free Wi-Fi, so if you’re scouting for a Shy Girl, make sure to filter for the ones that are actually studying and not sorting through their Tinder matches. Church is of course a solid place to find some of these girls, if it fits your style.
Pros and Cons
The pros of a Shy Girl are not necessarily as apparent to many players as the cons are. They are hard to take out for social events, they’ll be reluctant or outright refuse to do things with more than just the two of you, and they will be unappreciative or even resentful of any attempts to make them more social. While these cons can seem a bit troublesome and daunting at first, it’s more a matter of how you look at it.
Instead of trying to change these girls and mold them into little social butterflies, the wise player will accept her personality and enjoy the benefits that come with it. The first big pro is that these homebodies will almost certainly possess greater domestic skills than a more outgoing conquest. A girl who is happy to cook and clean is always welcome.
Another benefit is that they have very low social needs and are usually quite low maintenance. This makes them ideal for regular hookups without all the extra dating and going out that many other stabled girls would want. With little desire to socialize, she almost certainly has a low notch count and will happily stick with someone who gives her just enough attention as well as enough space to maintain her independent nature.
If you actually do develop a relationship with a Shy Girl, it can be a very strong and rewarding one. She will give all of her feminine attention to you while actively shunning others, which also means that the chance of her ever cheating on you is extremely low. If however, you’re just looking for a casual fling of FWB style mini-relationship, the Shy Girl remains an excellent choice as she’ll happily allow you the space to keep doing your own thing, and as an added bonus, the chances of her catching you creeping at the clubs is next to nothing. Regardless what you’re looking for, the Shy Girl is a fine addition to the life of all but the most gregarious of players.