Last week I wrote an article about meeting Korean women on the subway. There are plenty of reasons to use the subway to your advantage, but the most basic question still remains. How do I do that? How do I approach a girl I don’t know on the subway?
Luckily for you, I have done this many times and found out what works and what doesn’t work for subway approaches. So players, grab a cup of coffee and get ready for some truth bombs.
- Choose Your Location Wisely
Before you even make your way to the subway, you should figure out where you are and where you’re going. Sounds obvious, I know, but point A and point B are not nearly as important as how you get there. The quality of talent will vary wildly depending on time of day, location, and what line you’re on.
My recommendations for the highest amount of quality girls are lines 2 and 4 (green and light blue) in Seoul. On weekdays, the afternoons are best for these lines because that’s when university girls are finishing classes. Both of these lines run through several universities regardless of your starting point making them ideal for finding young nubile Korean girls.
On Saturdays, these lines are almost always busy, so it’s a bit of a crapshoot. Fortunately though, the subway gods deigned to bless us with 8 subways cars of chances so you’ll never run out of opportunities on these busy days.
NOTE: Avoid Line 1 (dark blue) at all costs! It is the absolute worst line in all of Seoul, both because it’s confusingly set up and because it is almost entirely inhabited by the elderly. Take this line at your peril.
- Select Your Target
As you players well know, not all girls are created equal. Some of the girls you see won’t be worth approaching and some of them won’t be open to an approach.
Your ideal target is standing instead of sitting, which makes both approach and ejection easier. Girls that are sitting are okay if there’s an open seat next to them, but sitting could possibly hamper your ability to use body language for communication.
She hopefully doesn’t have her earphones in, but if she does it’s okay. You can simply stand where she can see you and, while smiling, motion for her to take out her earphones. As simple a gesture as this can arouse her curiosity and establish dominance early in the interaction.
Look for a girl that probably fits your ideal type. It will be easier for you to engage with a girl that you are interested in before even talking. If you’re not sure of the different types, you can see some of the explanations here.
- Make the Approach
For most readers, this is probably the step you skipped to. Guys always want to know ‘what to say’ to get girls interested. A well-kept secret among men who deal with women well is the fact that most of the time, what you say isn’t as important as how you say it. This is especially true in Korea where there is probably a language barrier between you and your target.
For those of you looking for a really clever line that you can use over and over, there are some go-to golden lines.
- “Hey, I have a secret to tell you.” Then lean into her ear and whisper that she’s the cutest girl on the subway.
- “Oh my gosh, are you (your favorite Korean celebrity here)???”
- “I need your help settling an argument between two of my lady friends. One says I’m hot and the other says that I’m cute. Which do you think I am?” And make a cute or silly face.
If you’re nervous about this kind of approach, another option that I’ve seen work well is asking for directions or looking confused. This works best if you are new to Korea or Seoul, because your confusion will be genuine.
You can ask about which subway transfer to take, ask about where to go once you get to your stop, ask what time the last train is… Honestly anything asking for help from a native will help get a conversation going.
I personally don’t use this method because I quickly get found out as near-native and it breaks the spell. If you can fake it and you’re not in a hurry (everyone knows girls suck at directions), this opening can be very effective at getting a number close and possibly get her to escort you somewhere to create an instadate.
The most important thing during the approach is to never take yourself, or the interaction, too seriously. Attitude and demeanor are contagious.
If you look like a scared rabbit, she won’t pay you a minute’s attention. If you look like a lion on the prowl, she’ll be intimidated and close up. The subway isn’t the place for hard game. You’ll have much greater success being fun and playful, but still leading the interaction.
A goofy smile will go farther in getting her to open up than anything you could possibly say.
- Take the Interaction Forward
Now you’ve opened her, she’s at least interested in hearing you out, and she hasn’t sent you packing. You’re 80% of the way there!
Unfortunately, this is where most guys falter.
This early in an interaction, silence is death.
Start your regular banter routine, and if you don’t have one yet then now is the time to start developing one. You could just start talking about anything at all related to your opener, where you’re going, where she’s going, or what either of you will do… but that won’t generate much interest or attraction.
You need to try to either generate interest by mentioning high value activities or by making her laugh.
Some examples of basic conversation starters:
– I’m scouting out a new venue for my band to play at. Hey, you should come see us when we play next! What are you doing on Friday night?
– I’m on my way to a language exchange because I want to learn some Korean, but I bet you would be a better teacher. How did you learn English so well?
– I write for a website about meeting women in Korea, you seem like the perfect girl to ask about dating preferences. How about letting me interview you for the site? (My personal favorite!)
All three of these examples use some very simple techniques to get a conversation going. They all start with a statement that shows a skill, hobby, or worth, then it goes into a question that helps lead the conversation forward.
If you don’t give her something to talk about, the conversation will die. If you don’t lead the interaction, the conversation will die. If you don’t keep her actively engaged and involved in the dialogue, the conversation will die.
Keep the conversation alive and your chances with her stay alive as well. For every minute that you can keep the conversation fun and going, your chances of meeting her again improve.
The best part is that it almost doesn’t matter what you say. Just keep it going and keep her engaged. If you can keep her giggling or laughing, it’s even better.
- Go for the Kill
If you’ve been controlling the interaction well up to this point, you should have no problem closing the interaction with at least a number.
The easiest way to do this is to be direct about it. You’ll only seem like a timid rabbit if you try to beat around the bush with this. I usually say something like this:
“Hey, I’ve really enjoyed talking to you, but I’m getting off at the next stop. Go ahead and put your number in my phone and I’ll message you later.”
Quick. Simple. Easy. Works like a charm.
Of course, you could also just go with the best move to get her number.
If the conversation is going particularly well and you think she’s open to continuing on right then, turn it into an instadate. Take her off the subway to go get a coffee, or even better, go get a drink.
Alcohol is served 24/7 in Korea, and if she’s willing to get an afternoon beer with you, she’s probably willing to do a lot more than that. Take it as far as you possibly can. Always go for gold.
If you follow these simple steps, you will be able to quickly and easily use the subways to bolster your ranks of girls. While a good portion of these numbers may not eventually go anywhere, getting several numbers is so simple that you’re almost guaranteed to get a date out of it.
I find subway farming to be the most useful when I want to replace a girl or two in my stable. It helps me keep my rotation fresh and interesting, and the best part is that it’s a neverending steam of lovely young ladies.
One thing to point out regarding subway pickups is that time is the most important factor. Any given interaction should be five minutes or less unless you’re turning it into an instadate. If you get the sense that she’s not that interested, don’t be afraid to eject. Time wasters are your biggest enemy.
As a general rule of thumb, assume that you can turn about 10-20% of the numbers you get into actual dates. That means that if you want to set up a date for each weeknight, you need to get at least 25 numbers on a given day.
While that may seem like a lot, a couple of hours on the subway can easily produce this and it’s much more efficient than spending the same amount of time in a bar or on a phone app.
Ultimately, whether you’re looking for quick and easy fun or a long-term girlfriend, the subway is a great resource for finding willing partners.