What’s going on players? Hope you’re all enjoying the Coronapocalypse and staying in! It’s a good time to read some books and work on improving our minds.
Yesterday I was reading a Robert Kiyosaki book and he mentioned something that caught my interest. He said that he had attended a seminar on goal setting years ago, and the instructor had taught them the phrase, “Be, Do, Have.” In the book, he touches on the concept briefly so I’m going to go a bit deeper with it here and explain how it relates to you and game.
He said that everybody wants to have something. In order to have that thing, they want to know what to do. However, most people don’t understand that in order to do that thing successfully, one must be the type of person who will do that thing.
He gives an example of someone wanting to lose weight – what they want to have. They know they need to diet and exercise – what they have to do. But because do not accept the personality and mindset shift required – the be element – they ultimately go back to their bad habits and fail at their weight loss goals.
This was a bit of a side note to make a larger point more in scope to that book, but it struck me as especially meaningful. This concept is a huge part of getting better with women and improving yourself overall. I’ve actually been teaching this concept for years, but I never had such a succinct way of explaining it before.
Be, Do, Have – The Player’s Edition
Let me now attempt to break down its importance in game for you players and players-to-be out there.
Every guy who I coach or who writes to me wants to have a certain outcome with women. For some it’s banging lots of hot girls, for others it may be finding a great girl for an LTR, and for many of them it’s both.
The problem is that they come to me asking what the have to do to have that outcome. They never ask who they have to be to get that outcome.
Do you see it? They are coming at the problem backwards from how they should if they want to actually get the desired results.
Instead of learning what to do or say to be successful with women, you first have to figure out how to be the person who is successful at women.
Now, I can already hear your protestations and lamentations out there, players. “How can I be the person who is successful with women if I’m not successful yet?”
It’s not about actually being successful before you’re successful, that’s a ridiculous proposition. Instead it’s about finding the behavior and mindset changes necessary and making those changes that will lead to your success.
“What kind of changes should I make?”
This is where the really fun part comes in.
I want you to imagine an ideal version of yourself. This version of yourself has already achieved the goals you desire, he is already very successful with women in all the ways that you want to be.
Imagine everything about this ideal version of yourself. Imagine his looks. Think about how he talks and his word choice.
Think about his habits. What is his daily routine like? What does he do with his free time? When he goes out, where does he go? What does he do there? Who does he go with and what are his friends like? I want you to really get into the headspace of this Ideal You.
What you will learn when you get into the mindset of someone who is successful is that it’s very different from that of one who wants to be successful.
Most people who want to be successful (with women, money, health, or anything else) hope to solve an immediate problem and then go doing what they are doing now.
This is the exact wrong mindset.
Successful people are not successful because they have done something to make them that way. They are successful because they are that person. They don’t have the same habits as unsuccessful people. They don’t have the same desires, the same hopes, the same mindset as successful people. They didn’t become successful so that they could then act like losers. They became successful so that they could then become even more successful.
This was a huge mindset shift for me the first time I realized it. I’m sure for some of you out there reading this it is too.
Rather than finding out what you can do in order to be better with women, you must first think about what kind of person you should be.
The type of person you are will determine what types of behaviors you will engage in, what beliefs you will hold, and what results you will get.
By looking inward and figuring out what kinds of behaviors and beliefs you need to change in yourself, you will affect a huge shift that will push you toward success with women and all other aspects of your life.
If all you want is to bang some hot chicks without improving yourself or making any changes, get a hooker.
If you want to actually improve yourself and get better at game, you need to do this.
In fact, I want to help you personally. Yes, you. The man reading this right now. Imagine your Ideal You, dig deep into it, and figure out what changes you need to make to your behaviors, beliefs, and mindset.
Then email me what you have decided to change. I will personally reply to you and help you with the changes that will improve your game and your life.
Until next time, players!