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The 3-Day Rule

July 27, 2015 by Jack North 7 Comments

I’ve heard, as I’m sure you all have, the mysterious rule about not calling a girl for 3 days after getting her number.  This is supposed to show that you’re not needy and let her think about how much she likes you and wants to see you again.  It was also a rule that was clearly devised before the age of smartphones, OKCupid, and Tinder.  I have a different 3-Day rule that I always try to apply, and it’s shown itself to be much more effective than the prehistoric version of not calling / messaging them.

From the time you get her number, you have 3 days to set up the first date.

“But wait, SP,” I can hear you saying, “Doesn’t that make you seem needy?”

Not at all.  If anything, it’s the opposite.  The fact is that if you’re doing as many approaches and getting as many numbers as you should, you will pretty much only have time for a yes or no on getting the date.  She will sense your impatience like a looming deadline for her choice, and she will have to give you a straightforward answer to meet up soon or not.  There isn’t enough time in the day to be strung along in text message hell with the hopes of one day converting it to an actual date with just one of your many prospects.

The other part to this rule is that if you don’t make a move quickly, she will definitely forget you.  You need to get into her mind and stay there from the get go, so any time you wait, there’s probably some other guy chatting her up and actually setting up the date that you haven’t yet.  Most likely more than one.  Korean girls will give out their contact details like shaking hands, so it shouldn’t come as any surprise that she’s talking to more than one guy at a time.  You have direct competition from the word go, and the only way to stand out is to take the interaction analog and go for the gold.

The key to this conversion is to set exact plans and both agree to them.  Drinks are almost always best, and logistics will be critical.  Aim for weekdays because if you met her on a weekend, by the next one you will be a long distant memory.  Get it set up as soon as possible.  If you met her on Friday night, Sunday afternoon is a good time to take tally of your weekend and send out the messages.  Immediately set up a time to meet again as soon as possible, before the following Wednesday ideally.

Whatever she does, whether she’s a student or working, she will go back to being consumed with her daily life and grind by Tuesday morning.  You have a bit of grace period on Monday while she’s still thinking back over her weekend and she’s not fully back into work mode yet, so if you haven’t set the date by Monday evening, your chances of meeting her again any time soon have fallen drastically.

This is even more critical if you meet on a weekday or by using day game.  While you’ll stand out a bit more in her mind because of approaching her in a way most guys don’t have the balls to do, there’s also a good chance that you didn’t get to talk as much as normal night game exchanges, so she’ll be reluctant.  She also has a weekend coming up, might already have dates or a girls’ night lined up, and the timetable gets pushed forward a lot.  If you meet her on the street on a Wednesday, you need to try to set up something for that Thursday or Friday.  By Saturday, she’ll probably already be busy and by Sunday, you’re just a blip on the radar.  As always, avoid it like the plague if she suggests bringing her friend(s) along, even if she says she has prior plans with them.  You can always tell her to cancel on them or meet before / after her friends, but isolation is likely the only way you can make it work out for you.

Forcing this move from digital to analog will get you a lot more dates with a lot less effort, and will also give the added bonus of weeding out the girls who weren’t really that interested in the first place.

Filed Under: Game Tagged With: date, dating, dating korea, korea, korean girls, korean women, number close, pickup, pickup korea, seoul player, sex

Reader Interactions

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  1. Summary of Weekend in Seoul | The Seoul Player says:
    July 29, 2015 at 2:30 pm

    […] did make plans to meet with me the following Friday for drinks, as I detailed in my post about the 3-Day Rule, there’s a very good chance that she’ll flake […]

    Reply
  2. Make The Date | The Seoul Player says:
    September 9, 2015 at 9:11 pm

    […] written before about my belief in the 3 Day Rule, but even more important than initial contact is to take the interaction analog as soon as […]

    Reply
  3. The 2 Biggest Mistakes Guys Make in Text Game | The Seoul Player says:
    September 18, 2015 at 8:54 pm

    […] forgotten.  Contact her initially and try to set up the date as quickly as possible, preferably within three days of first meeting.  Then message her again two days before the date with something like, “Are […]

    Reply
  4. Summary of Weekend in Seoul - The Seoul Player says:
    November 10, 2015 at 10:03 pm

    […] did make plans to meet with me the following Friday for drinks, as I detailed in my post about the 3-Day Rule, there’s a very good chance that she’ll flake […]

    Reply
  5. Make The Date - The Seoul Player says:
    November 10, 2015 at 10:17 pm

    […] written before about my belief in the 3 Day Rule, but even more important than initial contact is to take the interaction analog as soon as […]

    Reply
  6. The 2 Biggest Mistakes Guys Make in Text Game - The Seoul Player says:
    November 10, 2015 at 10:23 pm

    […] forgotten.  Contact her initially and try to set up the date as quickly as possible, preferably within three days of first meeting.  Then message her again two days before the date with something like, “Are […]

    Reply
  7. The Two Best Ways to Approach Women - The Seoul Player says:
    March 4, 2016 at 4:16 pm

    […] later, she will have all but forgotten you. There are ways to forestall this, such as completely redefining the 3-day rule or quickly creating an inside joke, but the best way to do it is to set a date and time to meet […]

    Reply

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